What is Success? — Sailing Ixion

Let’s get cliche. You know the boring old fashioned phrase, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a train? Success was the train that mowed me down and just kept going. I wanted Thomas the Train instead I got a murder train intent on my destruction. All because I decided success was the only thing in life that mattered to me. I was Pavlovian even. I drooled at the thought of being successful. Drool coming out of this face? Not a beautiful sight. In the end though, it left me wondering what is success and how exactly does one achieve it?

Back when I was knee high to a grasshopper, old people would pat my little misshapen head and say, “Do good in school, go to college, find a great job, and start a family, this is success!” That’s exactly what they all said, verbatim. As soon as I was old enough to walk and talk and dance I was given the world and told to be Atlas. But have you seen that guy? He is ripped, so it’s only a slight chore holding up the sky. Me, I was a scrawny little tiny man, I couldn’t possibly hold that level of expectation on myself. But, that’s what everyone expected of me, and eventually I did too. Success, it was the only option. And to achieve said success, all I had to do was follow their direct orders, verbatim. If I did that, it was guaranteed. But It’s not so simple. One, because life is drastically more complex than just a simple plan. Two, capitalism. I won’t say more on that, just capitalism. But like I said before, I was Pavlovian. Success was like a drug, it was all I wanted, and needed. It was my singular focus in life. Which, like any drug, has its downfall. When I didn’t achieve said success, I would feen. I would beat myself up, and feel like a total failure. All because I didn’t achieve some arbitrary goal that had been set before me. It became this endless cycle towards some unknown goal in the future. I still had this idea of what success was, but was it truly real? Was this actually what success was, I had no idea. Life is fun that way.

After this never ending cycle, like any addict, I kept returning to it. Eventually after running into the wall the millionth time, we were like hey, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Maybe we should change the way we live and focus on happiness instead of success. Like any normal human being, we decided life should be fun. It should be exciting! We should be happy! What a concept!? It sounds so simple, but it took us like eight hundred years to come to that conclusion. We whisked ourselves away from Hollywood, and returned to the land of Revolutionaries and began again. But, like any genius, we just took all of our baggage with us. We continued to work in the exact same fashion as we did before. Work, work, and work towards this new goal of success! Right now I can picture the expression on your faces. These two goofballs are doing the exact same thing they were doing before. Did they learn nothing from their time in Hollywood? Had life taught them nothing? And the answer to that question is no, gentle viewer we didn’t. I did say we were Pavlovian with it, didn’t I. We were conditioned. You ring that bell and we come drooling in your lap waiting for you to hand us success. But all that we ended up doing was landing that ship on the rocks, literally. Literally. Nothing changed. We just traded one industry for another, and neglected to address the end goal. Pavlovian I tell you.

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed this journey down memory lane with us. It was a rocky journey, and even though it ran aground, all is good now. See what I did there? In the end, we have to change what our idea of success is. For most of our lives, we believed it was a great career, lots of money, and millions of babies. Yeah, millions. It’s pretty par for the course for Americans. Except, success isn’t a one size fits all situation. It took us years to figure that out and finally start putting it to practice. For some it’s simply starting a family. For others, it is the career, and for some it’s building this balance of work and life and adventure. The latter is where we fit. We want to build something for ourselves that centers around what we love to do. Before, it was just work. Nothing but work. Now, it’s this balance of all the things we love. Like, it took us ages to figure it out, but damn guys we are finally here. We finally found our own success. And failure doesn’t even factor into that situation. You know why? Because I’m not freaking dead. I can’t claim failure until I die. If I die and achieve nothing, then sure I’ll say I failed. Until that day comes, I can’t say I failed. Because success isn’t some singular goal that encompasses your life. It’s working to create a sense of happiness and contentment in your life, whatever that may be for you. If you focus on a singular goal at the end, you miss so much on the way. And once you achieve that, then what? Success has to be something that warps and changes with your life. Something that is constantly being updated to adjust to your current wants and needs. Holy shit guys, did I just become a philosopher? I think I did. Take that Plato.

Now that I’m the greatest new Philosopher of 2021, let’s philosize. Today is where I’m at. I know that sounds entirely nonsensical, but it’s the truth. My eyes have always been directed towards the future, never the present moment. The made up goal in front of me always took center stage, and my present existence was thrown off into the wings like a lowly stagehand. My new relationship with success is all about the here and now. I focus on what makes me happy and content here. If you’re constantly looking forward, you forget about yourself in the moment. Plus, there is no guarantee tomorrow will come, and no guarantee you’ll be happy if it does. Instead I stand firmly planted here, crafting stories, loving myself, and just being happy. My goals for the future still exist, but they aren’t all encompassing, and they change just as frequently as I change clothes? Why, you may ask. Well, what I want and what makes me happy isn’t always consistent. Today I’m happy crafting stories for all of you, but perhaps tomorrow I want to start a swimwear line to add to the list of things I want to do. So my goals shift to match my new wants. Or they don’t if that want disappears. Either way, I’m happy because it’s what I’m focusing on. I can’t always be concerned about tomorrow, I need to focus on my present day success. I urge you to give it a try!

If I may get serious for a second, this has been a rough journey for me. I’ve spent many hours being depressed, sad, and hating myself. I have suffered more mental breakdowns that I would like to admit to. All because I felt like a failure. All because I had yet to achieve this success that was predefined for me. The thing I thought would make my life worth living, and make me happy. But if I was miserable the entire time I chased this success, is it really worth it in the end? Because there is no guarantee that I would be happy when I got there. So, I have to focus on happiness for today, not for some eventual future. Success isn’t one size fits all. It’s a journey that encompasses your entire life, and not something that can even be summarized as a single thing. It’s like a Ditto Pokemon taking on whatever form stands in front of it. Ready to change at a moment's notice to suit what’s best for it. We should all shift our focus towards the positive and stop beating ourselves up for sometimes falling short. We are only human. At least I am, I can’t speak for you. Perhaps an alien invasion occurred by time you read this, if so, good luck. Americans are crazy. But in the end, just enjoy life, whatever that may be for you. Follow your own path, ignore what all the old people tell you to do. Life was different now than when they were growing up and coming into their own. Just break the mold, and build yourself a new one. You deserve it. I deserve it. We all deserve it.

- Jake