How Social Media Made Me Feel Less Alone

In the age of double taps, snaps, retweets, and facebook likes it’s easier than ever to connect to the world around you. It’s even easier to feel inadequate, depressed, and completely detached from reality. Social media has completely encompassed so much of our lives, especially those who wish to create a business or become creators in the modern age. For many, it’s a way to build a business; for others, it’s a way to connect to people who share their interests. Often though, it doesn’t go according to plan. When we sought to create these videos, we had this ideal as to what would occur. As things often do, it didn’t happen in the way we hoped it would. We wanted to take our love of filmmaking and apply it to something we loved and had complete control over. While we did achieve that, what happened afterwards was unexpected. We didn’t go viral, or immediately become a success (still working on that), but something more unexpected happened. We became more connected. For the first time in my life, social media did what it was supposed to do, made me feel more connected to people than I had in a long time. This is how social media made me feel less alone.

When social media first emerged, many people made fun of those of us who jumped on the train quickly. For me, I joined because I never fully felt connected to people around me. I was a gay outcast who didn’t see anyone around who I felt reflected me. So I sought for that online in the abyss of the internet. While it helped me find others who were like me, it didn’t solve all of my problems. During my teens and into adulthood, I suffered from a severe fear of rejection and social anxiety. While these emotions and feelings are quite common, they made it harder to find people to connect with. Nick and I both suffered from these crippling anxieties, which didn’t help when we worked in an industry build around networking. Neither rushed out to parties or events to meet and network with new people, let alone make friends. Instead, we hid behind the safety of ones and zeros and just attempted to do it on social media, but it wasn’t that simple. Though we may have been behind a screen, with nothing more than a keyboard in hand, the anxieties and fears didn’t subside. Instead, they were transferred to the digital world and all of our social flaws were mirrored on social media. We only stuck to people we knew, and let our flaws dictate how we interacted with those we didn’t know. Social media was supposed to help with this, but it didn’t. It just made it modern.

After our departure from Hollywood, we assumed the need for networking would subside. Not all industries centered around nepotism and who you knew. Just as many industries were entirely based on how good your resume and cover letter were. Sure, networking always made things easier, but wasn’t always needed. When we decided to branch away from the norm and start creating these videos, we realized that once again we would have to network. Not only just to promote our content, but to seek out assistance for things we didn’t know or understand. We were delving into a territory neither of us were acquainted with. Neither knew how to sail, and we had never worked on boats before. If we wanted to succeed in both the content creation and sailing worlds, we would have to face our fears and reach out to people. At first, it was terrifying in every way possible. We had imposter syndrome, fears of rejection, and every social anxiety you could think of. We were scared to talk to other people online, or even join groups. But, after some time, we began to realize people liked our content. They followed us just because they liked our stuff. People were becoming fans. Even beyond that, we were actually meeting people we liked. People who shared similar interests, goals, and dreams. Somehow during this crazy journey, social media did what it was supposed to do, and made me feel more connected. We started out just carving our own life from the norm, and as an added bonus, made friends along the way. It was something I didn’t think possible, but it happened. For the first time since I was a teenager, I felt less alone in the world.

My fears and anxieties stem from a multitude of things. Some are deep-seated traumas to events that occurred during my teen years, and others are from being bullied since I was the young age of five. The origin of these issues truly doesn’t matter in the end, because either way, they existed. They still had a huge impact on my life, and they dictated how I lived it. Over the years, I always attempted to squash them. I tried to find ways to overcome them in a plethora of ways, but none succeeded. Somehow, taking back my life and doing what I wanted to do, and ignoring the judgment of others seemed to push through that barrier. This connectedness that I now feel has had a massive impact on my life. Not only do I feel more connected, but my own view of myself has increased dramatically. I feel more confident, in not only my personality, but my appearance and my skills. It’s not to say I needed validation from an outside source for that to occur, but not living in a vacuum has allowed it to grow. I was able to push past my anxieties and fears, and begin to feel better about myself. Now I have less of a problem reaching out to people, and meeting new individuals. I can ask questions, and network, for the first time in my adult life without feeling like I’m going to randomly drown at any second. It was unexpected, but definitely appreciated. While I have a long way to go, I’m still thankful for the growth that has occurred.

Social media can be a burden or a benefit. It can make us feel more connected to the rest of the world, but it can also make us feel inadequate. Often we look at people on social media and feel like our life isn’t living up to everyone else's. This… is obviously a lie. Social media feeds are often crafted and curated to show you what people want you to see, hell, we do the same. There is much we don’t show you because it’s not a win, or it’s inappropriate for others to see. Whatever it may be, it’s just a small portion of who we are. But when used correctly, and not looking to it for self worth, it can have a wonderful effect. It can allow us to feel connected to the world, and find others we wouldn’t have found otherwise. It surprisingly has made my life exponentially better than before, and we have truly gained so much from it. Not everyone can say the same, and I’m thankful we are able to. Hopefully it continues to benefit us in our career, and our personal life. And this is how social media made me feel less alone.